Telling Tales – Are You there God? It’s me, Becky….

Tuesday, March 31, 2009

My children, like most I suppose, do not know how to whisper. They demonstrate this best while in church. This is why we — along with other parents whose children lack the ability to control their volume — choose to sit in the balcony, where we can at least contain the noise.

source site Even though we sit in the “nose bleed” section, there have been several occasions where I was surprised we weren’t asked to leave because of the wrestling match going on between our children in the middle of The Lord’s Supper.

No amount of bargaining, stink-eye looks or threats made through clinched teeth makes a difference. I have learned that this just makes them louder.

My mother-in-law is shocked when she attends services with us. As soon as we leave she regales us with stories of how Jay never made a peep in church and at 2 years old, probably could have led the service on his own.

One Sunday the pastor had just made the last announcement and was leading congregants into the final prayer. I was so excited that we had almost made it through an entire service without as much as a peep from our kids. As I was about to give myself a pat on the back and thank Jesus for his divine intervention making my children behave, my youngest snapped me back into reality with a question.

In a tone that could only be described as blaring, he shouts out his query. While the timing was off, it could not have been more appropriate.

Shhhh Jack. We’re praying
Mama! I have a question.
Shhhh! What is it? And whisper
What’s God’s last name?
What’s God’s last name?

I came late to religion so this made me fear the wrong answer would be forthcoming. I searched and searched and finally, with beads of perspiration forming on my forehead, it came to me.

MAMA! What IS God’s last name?
I think it’s Christ.

No it’s not! My husband chimed in. That’s Jesus’ last name.
Well what is it then Mr. Know it All? I fumed
I think it’s Almighty. Yep that’s it. God’s last name is definitely Almighty.
About this time I caught the stare of my mother-in-law who was listening in on our conversation with a look of disdain. She got my husband’s attention and gave him that, “you need to be quiet” look. And before I could give her the “You’re not the boss of us” look, the prayer ended and like a flash my kids were up and out.

When I told friends about this conversation everyone shared a nervous laugh. I’m not sure if they laughed because I thought Jesus’ last name was Christ and Jay thought God’s last name was Almighty or maybe because none of us really knew the answer. Regardless, I think that little question was God’s way of telling me and Jay that it’s us who needs to pay more attention in Church. 

Becky can be reached at This e-mail address is being protected from spam bots, you need JavaScript enabled to view it

Check out all of Angel and Becky’s columns at under the style section.

Share This:

Leave a Reply