Resolutions for Real People

By Angel Kane

Right about this time every year I usually resolve that “this family is going to get healthy!”

Out go the cokes, Oreos and Doritos and in comes the quinoa, coconut milk and almond butter.

I download books on the poisons of sugar, dairy and gluten and listen to podcasts on healthy eating. “We have to do this or we will all get sick and die” is my ongoing battle cry.

I used to get pushback from my family, but now no one gives me any trouble.

And when January 2nd rolls around and I get super hungry, I will undoubtedly reach for something sinful because quinoa tastes like sawdust, whereas Oreos taste like clouds of chocolate Heaven.

In reality I don’t think I’ve ever stuck to a resolution for more than 48 hours. And honestly, that’s because we make resolutions too big and too bold.

Take, for instance, a resolution I saw posted on a friends FB page this past Sunday – “I will be stronger, braver, kinder and unstoppable. This year I will be fierce!!”

Really? You plan to do all those things? When?

Because on Tuesday your kids go back to school and so Monday you have to find and wash all their school clothes that you haven’t bothered washing in two weeks. Then you have to pack their lunches the night before because their cafeteria account is overdrawn and you have to be at work by 7:30 because you left in such a hurry before vacation that you didn’t finish all your work. Most importantly though, you better find your black, stretchy pants because, once again, you went crazy between Thanksgiving and New Year!

Oh and don’t forget to be fierce while in the Starbucks drive thru, waiting on your white chocolate mocha latte made with coconut milk.

Honestly, she might as well have resolved to invent a time machine because her resolutions were just too much!

So this year, instead of resolving to do big things, I resolve to take life in baby steps:

 

  • I resolve to  drink more water when I can remember.
  • I resolve to take out the garbage when it reaches the top of the can instead of piling things on top and pulling the bag around the garbage.
  • I resolve to not buy house plants because I will never water them and they will just die anyway.
  • I resolve to buy a bag of buttons and finally mend those jackets and shirts!
  • I resolve to clean out the junk drawer at least to the point where I don’t have to push so hard to close it.
  • I resolve to throw away all those empty bottles of shampoo and conditioner in all the showers in this house.
  • I resolve to clean out my purse, or at least get the perishable food items out of it that have been in there since the beginning of 2016.
  • And, of course,I resolve to eat better and be fierce!

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