Nothing comes between me and my Calyx

By Angel Kane

I believe everyone has that one item that they just can’t live without.

Mine is Calyx. A perfume I’ve been wearing since high school.

For a short period, in early 2000, it was discontinued and I was at a serious loss. Adrift from one vanilla bean musk to another, never quite hitting the mark, I was in perfume purgatory. Then a few years ago I heard Clinique had bought the formula and was bringing Calyx back.

Oh happy day!!

I immediately did what any avid shopper would do, I ordered bottles and bottles, so I’d never be faced with this problem again. And now, whenever a bottle runs out, I don’t go into my stash without ordering even more for my reserves. Those preparing for the end of days can hoard their cans of food and flour all day long, this girl may go hungry but I’ll do so smelling like a field of wildflowers and sunshine!

So as I was driving my girls to school last week, my middle child was riffling through my purse looking for my checkbook (of course), and instead happened upon one such bottle and dared to spray it into the air. (for no reason)

“Stop,” I screamed, “that’s my Calyx!  Don’t waste it. I love that perfume!”

To which my eldest responded, “We know. I can literally smell the 80’s. Please stop wearing it, it makes you smell old!”

Did she just say the O word???

Is she kidding me? Old? I’m not old! Anybody that can quote every line from Sixteen Candles, St. Elmo’s Fire, Red Dawn and Breakfast Club is definitely not old.

Hip, cool, fascinating maybe,….but certainly not old.

“If I’m old, what does that make Molly Ringwald,  Rob Lowe or Demi Moore?” I dared to reply.

“The old, nerdy guy from Parks & Recreation and Ashton Kutcher’s ancient first wife? Hate to break it to you Mom, but they’re old too! And no idea who Molly whoever is.”

Refusing to succumb to reality, I persevered.

“What about Madonna, is she old too?”

And with that, both began to convulse and do the shiver of shame. “She is sooo gross! Wearing those outfits on stage and being soooooooo ooooooold!”

Now, I must say, I haven’t seen Madonna lately, so after throwing them out of my car, (without a check), “hope your young friends can spot your lunch,” I did what any cool, hip, fascinating person would do, I pulled over and googled “recent photos of Madonna.”

And there she was at the 2015 Grammys, in a black leotard looking ensemble. It was pure, unadulterated Madonna and I must say it wasn’t her best look.  She did look slightly, well, not young anymore.

I quickly then googled, “how old is Madonna?”

Well goodness, she is more than a decade older than me.

Letting out a sigh of relief, I sprayed on my Calyx and carried on.

 

 

 

 

 

 

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