My Personal Banker

madison

madisonBy Angel Kane

Wilson Living Magazine

So the text message went something like this:

Brody: “we’re going to miss the first quarter of the Titan’s game because of Zoe! I had to stop at the ATM which caused us to lose 20 minutes. We’re now sitting in traffic that’s at a complete standstill!”

Uh-oh, someone is going to be in big trouble was my first thought. One I shared with our resident, teen-age, middle child who rolled her eyes, mouthed “Not. My. Fault.” and carried on looking at the latest fashions on Instagram.

The last time I can remember having cash, on a regular basis, was when fast food chains did not take credit cards. But once that barrier was finally overcome, now the only time I carry cash is when my grandmother sends me a newly minted, one hundred dollar bill for my birthday or when our resident banker deems me credit worthy to receive an allotment.

And if you think banking regulations have become tougher, I can assure you the Federal Government has nothing on the Kane Kids Bank & Trust.

Our kids don’t get an allowance per se, but I find they are much more likely to  accomplish a big task like cleaning out the chicken coop or washing our cars, if I offer them the promise of monetary compensation.

And I can assure you, once the task it complete, they take whoever made the promise on a hostage-bank run and quickly pocket the cold hard cash.

And by pocket, I mean… their cash… goes on complete lock down.

Our eldest usually goes from our bank straight to hers where she promptly deposits it.

Our youngest has a piggy bank with a numeric combination that only he and his maker know.

And then there is our middle child, too young for a bank account, too old for a piggy bank.

Just right for the picking.

“Zoe, give your brother some lunch money and I’ll pay you back.”

“Zoe, your cross country uniform money is due today, pay for it and I’ll pay you back.”

“Zoe, I don’t have money for a tip, let me borrow a few dollars.”

 

Each time, our personal banker grumbles and threatens to cut us off but ultimately folds to the global economic pressures of living with parents who fully embrace a cashless society.

That is, until last Sunday, right as Brody and Neill were leaving for the Titan’s game.

“Zoe, give your Dad some cash for parking and he’ll pay you back.”

“No, I’m not. No one ever pays me back. Madison keeps her money in the bank and Neill keeps his in a booby trapped vault. You and Daddy are the worst! I’m tired of letting everyone in this family borrow money and never being paid back!”

It’s seems our not-so international monetary fund had cut us off!

Two hours later Brody and Neill were missing their all-time favorite teams, the Cowboys and the Titans, play because instead of their usual bailout, the boys were forced to head to the ATM.

Later that evening, the aftermath of the Kane financial crisis reached global proportions as fingers were pointed, financial bubbles were burst and key players refused to take the blame.

This Recovery… may take a while.

To read more of Angel & Becky’s columns go to www.wilsonpost.com or www.wilsonlivingmagazine.com

Share This:

Leave a Reply