All Good Things Must Come To An End

By Angel Kane

As they say, all good things must come to an end, and on Sunday, May 17th at exactly 2:30 pm at College Hills Church of Christ in Lebanon, Tennessee, the Year of Madison bit the dust.

As our eldest moved her tassel from right to left, one thought crossed my mind, and one alone… I did it!

I actually did it!!

I raised a human being from birth to full fledged adulthood!!

Me! Me?

Yes, me!!!

Now, there were others helping, of course. But 18 years ago as the doctor placed her in my arms, I had only one thought, and one alone….I just made a big mistake!

Not that we hadn’t waited with bated breath for her arrival, taking long walks counting down the days she would be with us. Her nursery was ready, her car seat was ready, her diaper genie was ready. No doubt, we were two 26-year-olds who were completely and totally ready!

And then they handed us this 7 pound 4 ounce tiny, human being and I honestly thought, there is no way I will keep her alive. This tiny creature was now wholly dependent on me and you know what, I just remembered, I’m really not that responsible. In fact, I’m kind of a mess, my Mom is totally right about me, and you want me to take her home?

Me, who can’t remember to water my plants or pay my rent on time.

Me, who has given away my last three dogs, because I don’t have time to walk them.

Me, who still relies on my Dad to change my oil and my Mom to remind me of my Grandmother’s birthday.

You people are giving this baby to me?! Are you insane, she will never make it!! I can’t take her home, in fact, I shouldn’t go home either. We should both stay here with all these smart nurses and doctors and you people should take care of both of us.

Barely sane enough to realize my crazy thoughts shouldn’t be verbalized, 48 hours later they let us walk out of the hospital with the tiny thing.

And so it began…..

I would watch her while she slept and then poke her for good measure to insure she was breathing. I fed her just like the baby books said (exactly like they said!) and surprisingly at her first visit, the doctor seemed happy with her results. And slowly, day by day, we sort of got the hang of it.

You feed her and she grows.

You teach her and she learns.

You love her and she loves you back.

Along the way, other people joined in to teach her calculus and Spanish, to teach her compassion and heartache, to teach her friendship and responsibility.

And before I knew it, she was walking across the stage to get her high school diploma and one week later she was on a plane to Nicaragua, with four other tiny humans who survived to adulthood with her, off to do some good.

And just like that, the Year of Madison is over and the Life of Madison is just beginning.

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No Escape

Telling Tales

By Angel Kane

For several years we’ve been blessed to be friends with a fun group of people. We’ve traveled together, celebrated birthdays together and spent countless hours together at various children’s functions,

But as life gets busier and busier, our get togethers have become less frequent.

A few weeks back however, we got the old group back together to try a new adventure called Escape Nashville.

The concept seemed to be a good one. We had not seen each other in weeks and this place seemed like something right up our ally.

You lock 10 people in a room, give them clues and together they try solve the riddle that finally leads them to a key which unlocks the door.

Problem 1. The concept is such a good one that most everyone is signing up, so the only slot available for our group began at midnight. Not a good idea for folks whose definition of adventure is staying up to watch the first half of Saturday Night Live. By 11 pm, our after dinner small talk became incoherent mutterings about how sleepy we all were.

Problem 2. When we got there, we found that Escape Nashville was run by a group of young, hip 22 year olds. Their job was to take our money and mock anyone over 30 who dared to come out to play the “game.” And rightfully so, since it was now past midnight and we should have all been home asleep!

Problem 3. The hipsters watch the players with surveillance cameras from outside the locked room. They are not to interact with the players unless players ask for a clue. I’m assuming that for a small fee we can buy back our video so it doesn’t show up on Youtube one day.

Problem 4. The game began! The doors were locked and four out of the nine of us just wanted to go home.

Problem 5. The other five were game lovers. You know the type: love Trivial Pursuit, won’t let you get up from a game of Monopoly until they win, blurt out answers before the contestants on Jeopardy hit their buzzer.

Problem 6. Escape Nashville should be called Lord of the Flies Is Alive and Well in Nashville. The groups soon became divided into the “I want to go home, this game is silly, I’m tired” group vs. the “get out of my way, don’t just sit there, look for a clue, if we lose I am blaming you” group.

It got downright nasty!

Problem 7. The 20 something’s wanted to go home because it was now almost 1 am and even they were tired! So even though we weren’t asking, they kept feeding us clues over the intercom.

Problem 8. We still lost. Miserably!! Four out of the nine of us didn’t care. The other five turned on us.

Problem 9. If you win you get a T-shirt that says “I escaped Nashville”. If you lose you get a bumper sticker that says “I almost escaped Nashville”.

Problem 10.  Nine out of nine of us were not about to line up for the 22 year old hipster, holding up our bumper sticker, so he could take a photo for Facebook.

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